Silent Sorrow

This is an extremely difficult subject

that I am addressing in this post.

My heart is full of tears.

Another dear and precious friend lost

her 24 year old son this week-

but he did not go from joy to joy.

He was on a silent and sorrowful path and 

it ended in a silent and sorrowful 

passing-suicide.

The reason I know this friend in such 

a deep and personal way was that we

share the terrible path of watching someone we love

fall ever further into addiction.

I tried to walk the journey along side her as they tried 

to save him from the slide downwards.

There were many times that I hugged her

and felt her shaking with tears and many

times she hugged me and let me cry.

We didn't do things the same, it was her son 

and I am dealing with a spouse, but we

understood how the other felt, the fear

and the pain and the anger and the rage and 

the fierce love and the aching misery.

We walked silently together many times in sorrow.

I look back and think was there ANYTHING I could have

done differently or better to help him,

but it never pays to look back unless we

can learn from it in some way.

This is what I know-

Logan believed in Jesus

he was in terrible bondage to a substance

he couldn't bear the pain

he is Home.

Beyond that I cannot say anything that

I know for sure.

And when I saw her that terrible morning

not one word came from my mouth,

I could only sit by her and hold her hand 

and weep in silent sorrow.

I love you family of Logan