Heart Cry

Where is God?

Where is God? I question Him every day.

I know He's God of the good times,

but I'm asking Him as I pray,

"I've seen You years past in the bad times,

what are You doing or are You

working on this steep and uphill climb?"

No sign from Him hand written on walls,

His word lies opened but silent

it won't speak to my heart at all,

of these trials, troubles, yawning grief.

Is my heart sealed to protect me

from some other death that's like a thief?

A barren place, no En Gedi here,

seasons of joy replaced by dry,

no abundant rain to make all clear.

When He is silent I cry alone.

Is He really there, close at hand,

and why is He hiding His throne?

There's no burning bush, no holy ground,

though I seek and loudly call.

But He's not here when I turn around.

Dull gray leaden clouds, a brassy sky

my words bounce back to earth it seems,

my breath released in a shuddering sigh.

All I know of His love and grace,

all I've seen of Him lifetime through,

tells me He is surely in this place.

I wrestle him unseen in the night,

crying out that He must bless me,

daybreak dawns, He is gone out of sight.

I hold onto what His word has shown,

faith is not sight or none I have

It is the unseen that faith is known.

If questions remain, no answers come,

my mind troubled waters stir,

then into the pool this faith must plunge!

He is God when He is silent too,

He is God when He thunders loud

He is God when faith is sight renewed.

If He can't be trusted now then when?

I lean hard into promised joy

He fails me not--and peace reigns again.

By Karen Helmes