Sunday, May 11, 2014

Silent Sorrow

This is an extremely difficult subject
that I am addressing in this post.
My heart is full of tears.
Another dear and precious friend lost
her 24 year old son this week-
but he did not go from joy to joy.
He was on a silent and sorrowful path and 
it ended in a silent and sorrowful 
passing-suicide.
The reason I know this friend in such 
a deep and personal way was that we
share the terrible path of watching someone we love
fall ever further into addiction.
I tried to walk the journey along side her as they tried 
to save him from the slide downwards.
There were many times that I hugged her
and felt her shaking with tears and many
times she hugged me and let me cry.
We didn't do things the same, it was her son 
and I am dealing with a spouse, but we
understood how the other felt, the fear
and the pain and the anger and the rage and 
the fierce love and the aching misery.
We walked silently together many times in sorrow.
I look back and think was there ANYTHING I could have
done differently or better to help him,
but it never pays to look back unless we
can learn from it in some way.

This is what I know-
Logan believed in Jesus
he was in terrible bondage to a substance
he couldn't bear the pain
he is Home.

Beyond that I cannot say anything that
I know for sure.
And when I saw her that terrible morning
not one word came from my mouth,
I could only sit by her and hold her hand 
and weep in silent sorrow.

I love you family of Logan


4 comments:

  1. My heart just aches and there are no words. Only silent, tearful prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just being there. She knows you care.

    ReplyDelete

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